Conversations One Should Never Have with One's Surgeon (Pt. I)

CBB: Hello?
DR. G: I'm looking for Colleen.
CBB: Hi, Dr. Gorczyca.
DR. G: Hmm, I hadn't realized my voice was that distinctive.
CBB: Yes, Dr. Gorczyca.
DR. G: Well, anyway. I heard your pin shifted?
CBB: Yes, it was standing upright and now it's almost flush against my foot. Is this normal?
DR. G: Yes, it happens a lot. Just go ahead and use your finger to rotate your pin back into place.
CBB: {Long pause}
CBB: What?
DR. G: Just rotate the pin back so it doesn't dig into your foot at all.
CBB: But it's not digging, just laying there and ...
DR. G: Nope, just turn it right around in case it changes its mind and digs in.
CBB: {Longer pause}
CBB: Ooooookey-dokey.
DR. G: And if the pin gets, you know, loose, just go ahead and pull it right out. Just cover it with a Band-Aid.
CBB: {Cue hysterical laughter}
CBB: Just pull it out? Of my foot?
DR. G: Yes, and cover the wound with a Band-Aid.
CBB: {More insane laughter}
DR. G: Or if you need to come see me earlier than anticipated, that's fine too.
CBB: {still laughing} I just don't know what's normal with any of this anymore.
DR. G: Well, you're going to be an expert by the time this is all over.